Ranked by hilarity: Worst album covers

William Shatner’s ‘Seeking Major Tom’ is No. 5 on the list.

Awful album covers are incredible. For every “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” or “The Velvet Underground & Nico,” there’s a few amateur (or even, sometimes, mainstream) artists whose album cover designs are just absurd. Sometimes, this turns out quite disturbing (every Cannibal Corpse album cover) or just creepy (“Julie’s Sixteenth Birthday”).

I’m not covering the disturbing ones, though. This list is solely for the album covers that I find laugh-out-loud hilarious. A lot of lists like this are ranked by awfulness overall. This one is ranked by how much they made me laugh. And the ones that made me laugh out loud the hardest are…

1. Freddie Gage: “All My Friends Are Dead”

Yup. This is the one that made me laugh the hardest. My sense of humor can be praetty morbid.

2. The Glitter Band: “Hey!”

It’s like looking at a still from the worst superhero show ever. They also have the worst catchphrase ever.

3. Paddy Roberts: “Songs for Gay Dogs”

If your gay dog could somehow have music preferences, somebody named Paddy Roberts would be an unlikely contender for its playlist.

4. The Louvin Brothers: “Satan is Real”

An actually pretty good gospel album that just happen to have the all-time worst gospel album cover (and there are a lot of terrible gospel album covers).

5. William Shatner: “Seeking Major Tom”

“Seeking Major Tom” is the most recent album on this list by about 20 years. They just don’t make hilariously bad album artwork like they used to. Occasionally, however, a gem like this will pop up. Brilliant.

6. Foster Edwards’ Orchestra: “What’s Next?”

What’s next? I don’t even know what the hell this is. I dread to know what comes after this.

7. “Music to Massage Your Mate By”

No. Just no. An entire issue of The Eastern Echo could probably be filled with a list of things wrong with this album cover. First of all, the ’stache…’nuff said.

8. “Crying Demons Crying Demons Crying Demons”

He looks less like he’s possessed and more like he’s confused by the floating words in front of his face.

9. Butch Yelton and Upbound: “Swing That Gospel Ax”

Even though this is supposed to be a gospel album, I’m 99 percent sure the people on this cover are actually cult members.

10. Roger Troutman: “The Many Facets of Roger”

Alternate title: “The Many Basic Facial Expressions That Roger Has Made to Look Completely Ridiculous.” It should also come with a warning sticker: “Warning: 10-minute version of ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’ that isn’t CCR’s.”

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