I’m not a Trekkie. Let’s get that out of the way right now. When my friends suggested viewing the premature summer blockbuster “Star Trek: Into Darkness,” this past weekend, I was far from excited. In fact, I believe I used the term “luke warm” to announce my displeasure. Sure, there was a supersized tin of eye candy available, but Benedict Cumberbatch’s deep vibrating vocals and Chris Pine’s toilet bowl blue eyes can only take you so far. Boy, am I glad my friends were cruel enough to hog tie me and throw me in that nerdy Ford Focus because that movie was awesome.
I cried. I laughed. I gripped the red cloth seat so hard, yellow stuffing spilled out like a Bavarian Crème paczki. Okay, I didn’t really destroy any part of the local theatre, but I did thoroughly enjoy myself.
One good thing about walking blindly into a franchise film and not knowing a damn thing (What’s the deal with all the shirts being primary colors, anyway?), is that Khan, the original out-of-this-world bad ass, made his debut in this non-Trekkie’s pop culture heart.
Spoiler alerts! The loose cannon/idiot savant, James Kirk, is kicked off of the Starship Enterprise. He is stripped of his Captaincy, then, is magically reinstated like 12 minutes later. Immediately after Kirk is handed his shiny sheriff badge once again, he throws himself into a perilous mission to retrieve terrorist super soldier, John Harrison, also known as Khan, who has extremely questionable loyalty and nearly unrecognizable motives. He has just wreaked havoc on an archives building, with the aid of a bit part character played by Noel Clarke, best known as Mickey Smith in the British cult classic TV series, “Doctor Who”, taking over 40 innocent lives in the process.
It’s Kirk’s job to avenge these deaths by cruising out of bounds to Kronos, home to the adversarial Klingons, threatening to obliterate Khan with 70 plus missiles and taking the man with superhuman abilities into custody. Needless to say, things run awry, and Kirk finds himself bounding over hurdle after plot twisting hurdle.
If you’re wondering, yes, the Spock and Kirk bromance continues as the two learn to tolerate, understand, and eventually care for each other. And yes, Leonard Nimoy returns for a quick round of chess with his younger self. Just kidding, but could you imagine how amazingly clever that would be?
To be honest, I’ve heard some bad reviews about this particular sequel, but I would take those opinions with a grain of galactic salt. If you look past the 16 false endings, the gratuitous half-naked lady scene and the aggravation of Bones’ never ending worry wart metaphors, “Star Trek: Into Darkness” is just…worth it.