Why we should keep the Loch Ness Monster

On April 20, 2014 ABC news published an article online that included pictures and videos containing recent sightings of the legendary Loch Ness Monster. The gigantic creature had been sighted near England, Scotland, Iceland, and Canada.

The monster has been travelling for six months, and has finally found its way onto Eastern’s campus. The Loch Ness is currently residing in Eastern’s lake and I believe we should keep the Loch Ness here alive and well.

Keeping The Loch Ness would be beneficial to Eastern Michigan University in two major ways.

Firstly, The creature could prove to have some major scientific breakthroughs, both in marine biology and biochemistry. This creature has never been studied up close before. Students would have hands on experience in studying a new kind of organism, and the practice would extremely educational and beneficial not only to the faculty and students involved, but also to the fields as a whole.

Secondly, we have to think about all of the tourists who would be willing to pay to see the Loch Ness up close. EMU could make a lot of money by charging to see the creature. The Loch Ness has been a legend people have obsessed over for decades. If access the research done by students and faculty here was included in the tour to see the creature, Eastern Michigan University could make a thriving business.

Animal Rights Activists might see it as wrong to keep an animal like this one in captivity, but the revenue earned from tourism could go directly to building the monster a better habitat. If keeping this creature is only going to help the University, there should be no reason why we cannot take the precautions to give it a better place to live.

I can see where the Loch Ness might bring fear and concerns for the safety of the students, faculty, and tourists, but so far there has not been any concrete evidence that The Loch Ness has harmed anyone.

It is true that some students, whose names have not yet been released, have gone missing. The last known location of these students is the shore of Eastern’s lake. I see the correlation, however I do not believe this is proof the Loch Ness is responsible. There has to be another explanation for these disappearances that has not yet been explored.

It has also come to my attention that the Loch Ness Monster was named after the city it formerly lived in- Loch Ness, Scotland. If the Loch Ness Monster is going to live here, Eastern’s faculty should change the name. It could be named after Eastern itself. The creature could be called The Eastern Monster, or EMU Monster, to further promote the university.

Keeping the Loch Ness Monster here at Eastern Michigan University would only be beneficial to everyone here. The University would gain international recognition, and would be the first University to study this majestic creature. Eastern should take all the necessary steps to keep this legendary creature.

This column is part of a special Halloween edition of the Echo and is satirical in nature.

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