How to tell if you've outgrown your childhood friends

Everyone has friends from their childhood that have been around forever. I’m talking about that friend of the family that asked to marry you at age three, or that quirky kid that you started preschool and graduated high school with.

In our hearts we feel that we will be friends with the people from we grew up with for life and nothing could tear us a part from the memories that we hoped to create with them in future. But then life happens. The friends who we shared secrets with, made pinky promises with and so much more, we seem to outgrow once we go to college.

Once you go to the next phase of your life, you seem to go back home less. While it’s not necessary to talk every day, if you notice that you are not talking as much this may be a big indicator that you are drifting apart.

When you first begin a friendship there is a lot of value placed on it. You find yourself talking to that person pretty often and trying to find ways to spend time them in any way that you can. We want to update them on what is happening in our life. When those phone calls, texts, and meet up’s seem to be growing less frequent, that may be a sign that you are drifting apart.

Long distance friendships can be very hard. By no means am I saying that long distance friendships are impossible, but if you recently moved and are feeling less connected to the person, it could mean that you are growing distant. As humans we need that physical contact and those in person conversations to keep a friendship going. When you or a childhood friend moves away, you could outgrow eachother.

Sometimes a long distant friendship isn’t physical, but mental. When you originally meet someone in the first grade, they are going to be a very different person from the one that they eventually become.

When you met, the both of you bonded over the idea that your favorite color was green, but now you are trying to pursue your dream career and they are still living at home. The point is, your friends are going to be very different people than the person they were when you were kids. If you find yourself chasing different dreams and not connecting anymore, the friendship may be dwindling.

In life you will go through many stages. Maybe you are going to get married in the next few months and your friend is still enjoying the single life. Maybe you are planning to move back in with your parents while your friend is packing their things to move to New York. There is no universal rate that anyone matures at, so if you and your friend seem to be at two different places in life, you simply may be outgrowing eachother.

If the friendship feels forced please let it go. If you feel an obligation to hang out with someone, or to keep in contact with a friend it is very likely that you are drifting apart. Friendships are supposed to be fun and relaxing. They are not supposed to feel like some obligatory work meeting that you are required to attend.

When going through a fading friendship it may be a very emotional time, but it is important to realize that it is normal. As we grow older our childhood friends are not the same people as they were when we met them so long ago, and neither are we. Friendships are going to come and go throughout life. That is why you have to cherish who is in your life now, because your relationship with them might not be the same tomorrow.


Comments powered by Disqus