It’s understood that our past experiences, both good and bad, are what shape the person we are today. We go through situations and depending on the outcome, we learn from it and move on. But what about that one thing that we can’t seem to forget? It sometimes feels like no matter what we do, all of our efforts are no match for that thing that sticks around in our memories and haunts us.

I’m one of those people that believes that everything happens for a reason. I can’t help but think that there has to be a reason why certain things only happen to certain people. Despite the situation, there’s got to be an explanation as to why. I find myself asking ‘Why?’ too much. For example, “Why does this person have more than I do?,” “Why am I experiencing this but no one else is?” or even “Why is someone else getting the opportunity I think I deserve?” Overtime, I’ve learned that the ‘whys’ will eat you up if you spend valuable time reminiscing about them. You could come up with a hundred reasons why something is unfairly cast upon you but I bet it’s hard for you to think of a single reason as to how it could benefit you.

To over-shadow this urge, how about thinking of how one of those negative outcomes could potentially benefit you later. Ask yourself, “How can I use this to my advantage?” I’ve also found it helpful when you just can’t stop thinking about a past experience, try to turn it around and see what that experience offers you. Find something good out of it and utilize it.

I often have this one past scenario that I always find myself unwillingly revisiting. And even though I have confessed this, I still feel guilty about it. I know that it’s in the past and I know that it’s not that big of a deal but for some reason, I still do a play-by-play of it in my head; as if I’m torturing myself about this insignificant matter. I think a large part has to do with the fact that it happened when I was just a kid. I think an even bigger reason for it is that I had motive, I’ll admit it was petty, but I didn’t thoroughly think about the consequences of my actions. Today, as a person who stops and deeply thinks about every scenario that COULD happen following any action, that’s the one thing I didn’t consider during that action. I just did it, not caring about if it could get me in trouble or not.

In the end, it’s not worth the stress to dwell on the past. The most important things are your present and future. Yes, your present matters just as much as your future [I said, what I said.] The past is the past for a reason. If you don’t like the result of a prior decision, brainstorm some ways to change it or even piggyback off of it to get where you want to be. Don’t get left behind. Always find room for progress and who knows, maybe that one regret you have can be rebranded in your memory as just the thing you needed to thrive.

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