With the holidays coming up, many of us are stressing about being around our families and the upcoming questions and judgment. However, you can survive family events this holiday season with these five tips:

First, don’t sweat the small stuff. It is okay if everything does not go perfectly. Forgot the six types of cheese everyone likes? Don’t sweat it. You’ll find the holidays much more relaxing when you don’t worry about pleasing everyone. If you find yourself worrying about every little thing, take the time to relax and breathe. Not everything has to be done the same way your parents or your grandparents did it. Everyone burns a pie now and then, and your house does not need to be perfectly decorated for everything to be okay. No matter whether everything is perfect, it will be okay.

Second, take the time to just relax. The holiday season seems to get busier and busier each year. There is no reason why your family gatherings should be hectic and chaotic, leaving you exhausted. Take this time off to actually experience time off. The dishes can wait, splurge on your favorite dishes, play that game of cards or watch a movie with the family. Be present on what is going on at this moment, not what needs to be done, your stress level will thank you in the long run.

Next – and this is very important – choose your fights carefully. This concept, while easy to say, is harder to do. Not every issue needs to be fought and not every comment needs a reply. Remember that you don’t need to engage with every negative comment that is thrown your way. This can be very difficult at times, but it is always better to walk away. By detaching with love, you can disengage the situation before it blows up. It’s better to just walk away than to get into a verbal sparring match with your loved one.

Fourth, it’s okay to say no. “No” by itself is a full sentence; you do not owe anyone an explanation if you don’t want to give it. You do not need to jump every time someone tells you to do or answer something, especially if it means neglecting your own comfort. Do not put your own needs on the back burner this holiday season to please others. It is perfectly okay to say no.

Lastly, remember whose opinions really matter. You do not have to take the opinions of people you see three times a year to heart. Your own choices and opinions om your own life matter the most. Whether it be changing your major, getting a haircut or who you date, you know you best. You have choices in life, and you do not need to explain why you did what you did to anyone else if you do not wish to. How you choose to live your life is no one else’s business. Put value and pride in the life you choose to live.

Take these tips this holiday season to keep yourself calm, happy and relaxed. As hard as it may seem sometimes, take the time to enjoy yourself and the holidays instead of stressing yourself out.

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