We will prevail, 2022: Satirical Essay
President Donald Trump spoke today about the conflict in China and how the recent bombing raid on Hong Kong has paved the way for American victory.
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President Donald Trump spoke today about the conflict in China and how the recent bombing raid on Hong Kong has paved the way for American victory.
I didn't get to see the Real Sports HBO special that aired Tuesday, April 19th, about Eastern Michigan University's spending on sports (I was too busy thinking about how I'm going to pay off my student debt), but I've read enough about it to know that my university has spent $52 million in the last two years on sports, according to the show. “Eastern has an athletic department spending of $33.9 million, according to data collected by USA Today and published earlier this week,” writes David Jesse of the Detroit Free Press. “Of that amount, more than $27 million, or 80% comes from institutional support.”
I understand the significance of electing a woman president, but Hillary Clinton is not the right woman for the job.
The primary reason churches in the United States have been tax-exempt thus far is due to the protection granted to them through the separation of church and state. In other words, churches are tax-exempt because taxing them would—according to some—violate the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which forbids the government from making laws “respecting an establishment of religion.” The clause “not only forbids the government from establishing an official religion, but also prohibits government actions that unduly favor one religion over another [and it] prohibits the government from unduly preferring religion over non-religion, or non-religion over religion,” according to Cornell University Law School.
Donald J. Trump officially announced that he was running for president on June 16th, 2015. Speaking from Trump Tower in New York City, the then newly-announced candidate opened with a no-substance quip about the supposed idiocy and gutlessness of the other candidates saying, “How are they going to beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” He then immediately transitioned into a more somber topic—the state of the country—when he said, “Our country is in serious trouble. We don’t have victories anymore. We used to have victories, but we don’t have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal?”
The United States’ record with Cuba since the 1960s has been rough and downright scary at times, and although my generation — the Millennials — never experienced the same fear as our parents did of nuclear war looming over our heads, we understand how incredibly significant Barack Obama’s visit to Cuba is.
Over the past few years, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among millennials who refer to themselves as “social justice warriors.” A trend which, despite its noble origins, has become not only a danger to society, but a blemish on real social justice. This trend I’m talking about corrupts feminism, stifles progress towards true social, racial and gender equality, utterly obliterates accountability on the part of those who are underprivileged and, worst of all, completely ignores and even prohibits open-minded discussions from taking place (without which, no change can ever come).
In 1776, the Second Continental Congress declared independence from Great Britain and established the country we know today. 56 delegates signed the Declaration of Independence, among whom you will find such intellectuals and famous (or infamous, depending how you look at it) Founding Fathers as John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. These revolutionaries, as well as the other 51 signers of the Declaration, were undoubtedly some of the most important, intelligent and impassioned individuals of their time in America. They believed that the rights of the people were not given by kings or by governments, but that they were inherent in all men. They believed that the power given to the government must be derived from the consent of the people. They believed in equality. The United States was to be the shining star in a dark world plagued by tyranny and injustice.
Over 9,000 people showed up to listen to Bernie Sanders speak this past Monday at Eastern Michigan University’s Convocation Center. Many of them stood in a mile-long line outside in the cold for hours, including myself, but it was worth it to listen to one of the true progressives of our time.
Many southeastern Michiganders are excited to attend the “A Future to Believe In Rally” Monday at Eastern Michigan University’s Convocation Center, where Bernie Sanders is set to speak about a “wide range of issues important to Michiganders including making college affordable, reforming our health care system, and getting big money out of politics,” as it states on Sanders’ campaign website.
Following the publication of my most recent column (“Stop defending Islam as a religion of peace”) came a maelstrom of misinterpretation, hateful scorn and cries of “Islamophobia.” I had, of course, expected some commotion—it is, after all, a touchy subject—but I had never expected such an outcry, considering I had written about religion in the past.
**This is an opinion column and it does not reflect the views of the Eastern Echo.**
No matter how hostile, how vitriolic it may be at times, freedom of speech is not something we should take lightly. It is the pinnacle of free society and democracy. But many people today are ignoring that truth and substituting it for their own—casting out any opinion or ideal that dissents from the norm. This is a dangerous road to go down, especially in a democratic society, because not only does it fork away from freedom, it leads to a crossroads of fanaticism and oppression fueled by fear of the unknown.
Contrary to what people like Donald Trump might believe, our borders are not being overrun by Mexicans. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. So, Mr. Trump’s claim that “Mexico is pushing people in” is simply untrue. And his plan to stop this non-existent invasion is ludicrous.
With Halloween fast approaching and “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” release coming, many people are excited to dress up as Star Wars characters. One costume, and character, that has always held my respect is Darth Vader, because he is, by far, the chief of the bad guys. Not to mention that swagger and that chic style.
In first Democratic primary debate last Tuesday, Bernie Sanders declared to Hillary Clinton that “we’re sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails!” Now, ironically enough, more news has surfaced about these emails that suggest that former president George W. Bush and others may have committed treason. This doesn’t come as a surprise to many, since we’ve known for quite some time that the government lied about the presence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
“Nine million children die every year before the age of five,” says American author, neuroscientist and philosopher, Sam Harris. Most of which are caused by conditions that could easily be “prevented or treated with access to simple, affordable interventions,” according to the World Health Organization. This is a toll that any empathetic and compassionate human being would be saddened to hear of, yet to those who believe in the word of God, it is something we must simply accept as “His will.” As someone who considers himself to be a generally decent human being, I look at this number and feel disgusted by the thought that a supposedly all-loving God would allow this many people to suffer and die so young. It seems to me, then, that even the most basic of human morality is superior to that of religion.
Bernie Sanders took the victory in Tuesday night’s Democratic debate. The moment he walked out, the whole crowd roared and cheered and whistled for the independent Senator from Vermont. Although it could be said that he was preaching to the choir, considering the makeup of the audience, I think this excitement says something about his campaign—people are ready to start over, politically. The mainstream population is done with politicians with crocodile smiles, false promises and B.S. kowtowing to big money.
294. That’s the number of mass shootings, or “incidents where four or more people are killed or injured by gunfire,” that have happened this year, according to Christopher Ingraham of The Washington Post. 294 mass shootings, out of 274 days, as of October 1. When the number of shootings exceeds the number of days that have past, it is absolutely clear that there is a problem—not just with gun regulations and safety, but with the society that induces and perpetuates such violence through its lack of reasearch and education on the topic.
More often than not, a candidate’s stances on trivial problems are what gets him elected president, because this country has a one-track mind. When it comes to thinking hard about the real underlying issues that we have, we turn the other cheek and continue bashing one another for our political affiliations. Instead of working for meaningful change, we simply bandage the wounds and hope for the best. We, as a nation, have to step up and shift course, because if we don’t, our democratic republic won’t last.