We’ve heard the stories, watched the videos and sat through sex-ed classes. Consent is sexy. Consent is good. Consent is everything when it comes to having sex. But, it is only consent if the person is sober.
The problem is that no matter how many times we go through the sex-ed process, there are still areas where people are fuzzy and still the fact that “yes” does not always mean “yes.” At a glance this sounds ridiculous. If a girl is hanging out and a random man approaches her (or vice versa) with a proposition for sex, while it may be rude, she could still say yes and enjoy the sex. However, just because a person does not say “no” or isn’t crying, smacking their rapist or passed out doesn’t mean that they are consenting.
People drink. It’s not always the best idea and honestly, I find most alcoholic beverages revolting, but that doesn’t change the fact that people drink. Alcohol isn’t just something that makes talking to people more fun. It isn’t just something that you drink when playing beer pong or trying to fit in at a party you secretly hate attending. When drinking large amounts of alcohol, it is not unheard of to make poor decisions. Alcohol can cause lapses in judgment.
That said, sometimes, unfortunately, some people will say yes to sex that they don’t want to have when they are drunk, maybe even to people they have said “no” to prior to drinking.
It is impossible to consent while you’re drunk or under the influence of any other drugs that could alter regular decision-making. Even if a girl says “yes” after having five beers, it’s not consent if she shot you down earlier in the night.
There is no such thing as sex that is not consensual. There is sex, which is always consensual, and there is rape, which is never consensual. If you have to think about whether or not your partner is consenting, they’re probably not. Consent is not just sexy—it’s obvious.