Relationships; a basic, human instinct that we all desire. Relationships are all around us and in many unique forms. Whether you are single, boo’d up or actively searching, relationships impact your life.
“All you need is love: experts on the changing face of modern romance,” an article from The Guardian, featured experts and their opinions of love. “I’ve found that it’s [love] not an emotion – although a lot of emotions are involved. It’s actually a drive – a basic mating drive that evolved millions of years ago,” said Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Kinsey Institute of Indiana University.
These days relationships can be as fluid as you make them but I want to focus strictly on those that are romantic. I strongly believe that relationships should happen as naturally as possible; by this I mean they should not be forced. Nothing good ever comes from this. Mind you, I am no expert on relationships; I’m merely someone who has had the chance to experience a love. From my personal experience, I can tell you that forcing a romantic relationship only makes you more lonely. It further grows that void that you’ve been so determined to fulfill.
No two relationships are the same just as no two people are the same, yet we compare our own relationships with those of our peers. I understand that it can be easy to do this but it’s neither healthy nor beneficial to you. It can only end in one of two ways, you being stuck in a relationship that is completely fabricated to meet a certain “standard” or you constantly searching for something that’s unobtainable.
From The Guardian’s article, Beverly Jenkins, a bestselling romance novelist, offered her personal insight on love, “Love means different things to different people, but I think there is a template.” When speaking about her late husband, she explained, “We were two separate people, but we were a couple.” Beverly continued, “...we gave each other space, so we could grow as individuals and as a couple.”
To my single people out there, when concerned about not being in a relationship, take a strong look at yourself. Are you content with who you are as a person? Are you doing the things you want to do? If you can answer yes to both of these questions then go ahead, look for love! This means that you are satisfied with your own growth and you’re being the best version of yourself. It’s important to love you before you attempt to love anyone else.
To the partners who’ve found someone and are exploring each other, keep doing that! Continue to connect with one another and understand what makes y’all compatible. If you can’t think of a single reason why you’re together, maybe that’s reason enough to make you step back, analyze your situation and decide on if where you are is where you want to be.
To those who have their eyes set on a certain someone, go for it! The worst that could happen is they’re either already taken or not interested. Either way, it doesn’t hurt to try.
Everyone has an opinion on love, which they are entitled to. Love is not only a need but a human right. No matter who you are or where you’ve come from, everyone experiences some kind of love. It’s up to you on how you both project and receive it.