Conquering depression

Some people assume depression is for attention-seekers, but contrary to what these people believe, those suffering from depression are not purposely hurting themselves for attention. They are living with an illness.

When you are depressed, or at least when I was dealing with it, you feel as if you are stuck in a double bind when it comes to your happiness. You are tired but cannot sleep, you want someone to care but you do not want to be a burden to anyone, and you hate yourself but are the only one you can trust.

For me, the depression developed over time, and it is normally this way for everyone.

It starts out with just feeling moderately tired, and it then turns into not wanting to do anything because everything feels like work.

Eventually, you cut everyone out of your life and lose communication with the rest of the world. Isolation overwhelms you and the once extremely extroverted, carefree person becomes a shy introvert, more comfortable being alone and afraid of talking to people because she knows no one cares about how she is feeling.

Loneliness takes over while you are depressed. You do not want to be alone but you feel that deep inside no one really cares about you. Even if they do make a point to see how you are doing, you know they are just trying to avoid awkward silence.

Someone close to me would always ask me, “How are you doing today?” because it is normal small talk. I knew she would just be going through the motions so I would say, “I’m fine,” because I did not want to bore her with my problems.

In the long run, people with depression cannot tell anymore if someone truly cares and wants to know what is going on, as they do not completely want anyone to get involved with their life.

When we cut or do other actions to damage to our body, it is not to intentionally hurt the body. It is a way to break free from pain or overwhelming thoughts.

Some, including me, go through thinking precisely nothing to over-analyzing and assessing everything for no reason whatsoever, and damaging the body is a way to ease the mind.

Granted, there are many other activities, however people suffering from depression resort to damaging their body because they feel they do not matter. They do it to either release the pain inside or to feel something in general.

People need to start showing compassion and talking to others not because it is an obligation, but because they want to. You never know what one is going through, so make it a point to tell the ones you care about how much they matter.

We need to be more sympathetic in the world. Most people only care about themselves and this is not helping anyone. How would you feel if you were never told, “I care about you – I don’t know how I could deal with life if you weren’t here with me”?

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