I’ve been getting a lot of questions from readers asking for advice. I’ve compiled a few of them here for you. If you have a question for me, email me: Jerome@LTASEX.INFO.
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“Is it cool to wait? Should I feel bad because I don’t want to have sex yet?”*
To answer your question, no. There is no reason you should feel bad about not wanting to have sex yet.
I know in our sexual social climate, sometimes it can seem like being a virgin or being abstinent is somehow a burden. The reality is you have every right to choose every aspect of your sexuality. It’s your body, do with it what you want.
That being said, I would encourage you to examine the reasons behind your desire not to have sex. Are you scared because you’re uninformed? Are you following the guidelines of your religion? Are you simply practicing the safest form of sex possible? Have you simply not met the guy, gal or in-betweener that is worthy of sharing your genitals with?
Whatever the case, be sure you’re doing it for a positive and healthy reason. Often we choose to close ourselves off because we’re fearful and like to hide that fear behind religion or ideas of propriety. In reality, we’re just running away.
I would like you to make sure you are still exploring your sexuality, even though you’re not having sex. If you wait too long to even acknowledge the sexual being within you, you could miss out on a lot positive, formative experiences.
Masturbation is healthy, beneficial and fun. You could also try watching porn or reading erotica and sexual fantasy to help keep your sexuality buzzing along happily. This will put you in a better position to explore the physical side of your sexuality if you get to that point.
*“My semen has blood in it sometimes. Should I be worried?”
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Yes.
Go to the doctor immediately. It’s not an emergency, but blood in semen is not caused by anything you would want to leave untreated.
In my experience, this is a very common symptom of testicular cancer, which is bad but survivable. You could also have an open sore in your urethra, which is bad but also survivable. Since I’m not an MD, it would be horribly irresponsible of me to say anything more than I already have — go see a doctor.
If you haven’t recently, now would be a good time to get up close and personal with your body. Take a look at your penis, scrotum, perineum (the skin between your scrotum and anus), inner thigh, butt, anus (if you can) and the inside of your mouth. If you feel lumps, swelling, pain, redness, sores or anything else that looks abnormal, that’s another reason to get yourself to the doctor. Even if you don’t feel/see anything odd, go see a doctor.
If you don’t have insurance, visit Corner Health Center or Planned Parenthood. Even if they can’t see you, they can point you in the right direction.
Moral of the story, see a doctor. Now.
Corner Health Center
734-484-3600
47 N. Huron St.
Ypsilanti, MI 48197
Planned Parenthood
734-485-0144
840 Maus Ave.
Ypsilanti, MI 48198
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“Is it OK to have sex on the first date? I mean, imma do what I want but like do guys still think that gurls are slutty for having sex on the first night?”*
Yes and yes.
Look, if you’ve read even one of my columns, you know I’m going to tell you it’s perfectly fine to have as much sex as you feel you need or want. If you’ve watched TV or a movie in the last month, you’ll know the old double standard is still alive.
I should also mention it’s not very safe to literally have sex with every guy you see.
But, if you’re like most college folk and sleeping with three people in a month then enjoy yourself. Even if your number of partners reaches 10 in a month, I would still say enjoy yourself.
Now, if that number reaches 20, then you are definitely increasing your risk to a level I wouldn’t recommend. But, if you’re cool with the risks involved and taking on no more risk than you’re comfortable with or can responsibly handle, then I say enjoy yourself.
I would recommend you see a doctor regularly if you’re in the upper tier, as far as the number of sexual partners. Then again, I would recommend that to anyone who is sexually active. But, my recommendation to you is much stronger.
