As you near your fourth (or in my case fifth) year of college, housing decisions seem to become a bigger deal than before. At this point you may finally know what you’re looking for in a home. You can cross itsy-bitsy dorm off your list, as well as stinky-dirty-party-house equipped with bffe’s, seven to be exact. You may also cross off the apartment-that-didn’t-exactly-give-you-the-bang-for-your-buck from your list. What do you want now? I find myself asking the same question. I want a place I can call home, something cozy, small and classy. Something that isn’t cheap, but not too expensive. Easy enough. Find a place with the requirements you know you want. And then I look to my right; what would you like our place to offer? Ahhhh yes—the most difficult question, one you may have answered quick and certain before. Who would you like to live with? And the housing thing you thought you’ve finally gotten the hang of, just got a whole lot tougher.
Now that you’ve lived with a handful of people in your phonebook, random people from craigslist, and a couple of couch-surfers, you know the qualities you do and don’t want in a roommate. After weeding out the people you consider friends, and those you consider roommates, you may not be left with a whole lot of options. For some of you mom and dad’s clean, quiet home, with a hearty supply of snack-packs and fully stocked fridge sounds like paradise. But that’s old news! Who might you really want to live with? Your significant other? Gasp.
Oh you college kid, always looking for something new aren’t yah? You’ve done it all besides live with the person you share a bed with every other night. So what’s next? Deciding to live with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be a big decision. Especially for those who have never lived with their significant other. How do you know you’re ready? I wish I could answer this question for you, but it’s my question too! So, I’ve outsourced to a young woman who’s been there done that. Let’s hear what the expert has to say.
“We like being together,” said Alumni Kari McLeod, who has been living with her boyfriend for the past two years. “What he does, I do, and vis versa. When we weren’t living together he spent all of his time at my place anyways.”
McLeod mentioned it was not only economical for her to live with her significant other but exciting. She knew they were ready to live together when they were willing to deal with their silly fights, such as who get’s the remote control, in exchange for sleeping every night with the person they love and feel the most comfortable with. McLeod also reminded me that it’s not all fun and games with pink fluffy hearts. She said that it’s a lot like living with your friends. You become close and get into arguments just like with any other roommate.
“Sometimes when we fight, I have to take a step back and think, would I be acting like this if someone—-anyone else was here right now?” With the answer usually being no, McLeod is then able to maturely talk things out, and jump into bed at the end of the day with a light heart.
McLeod also shared her opinion on living with someone before marriage. “I actually lived with one other guy, whom I thought I loved, but I learned he wasn’t the one for me. I might not have learned that otherwise…and could have ended up in an unhappy marriage.” I have to agree with McLeod, I feel it’s an opportunity to get to know the person you love that much more! If you can’t live with them, then you’ll certainly be able to live with out them.
So, you’re sure you’re ready? Well then, here comes the talking it over part. Sit him/her down and start chatting. If one person seems weary of the move, give them more time to think. And if that time to think turns into “I’m just not ready,” you should tug on the bottom of their shirt until they are….just kidding. As hard as it may be, respecting their space is what I feel is most important. If you love someone enough to be ready to move in with them, then you should be able to love them enough to respect the decision that they’re not ready. Just because someones not ready to share a 1bdrm with you, doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t see you in their future, or that they don’t love you. Perhaps it really just means they’re not ready. Don’t overanalyze the situation too much or you’ll find yourself back at square one—partying in a stinky-dirty-party-house equipped with bffe’s and stale jimmy johns. If you’re on the other end of the spectrum, you’re both ready, then hold on for an exciting new experience. And as always, with these new experiences comes lessons to be learned. Okay, this is me saying good luck! Oh, and wish me luck too!
