Selecting a new place to live can be frustrating: You have to consider square-footage, whether you want gas or electric heat, closet space, number of bathrooms needed and which floor of a building you want to live on, just to name a few things. But, unfortunately, none of those things really matter if you don’t choose wisely when it comes to making the most important decision: choosing the perfect roommate(s).
Unless you’re lucky enough to sign individual leases, which few leasers offer, roommates have the power to royally screw over your life. If they don’t pay their rent, you get evicted; if they don’t pay their portion of any bills in your name, your credit takes a hit; there’s also deciding how to divvy up the little things like taking out the trash, doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom.
You may be thinking that when it comes time to sign your next lease you’re going to move in with a close friend or two, and there won’t be any problems. Well, you’re wrong. The saying, “You don’t really know somebody until you live with them,” while often applied to engaged couples, also applies to roommates. For example, let’s say you have a really close friend who you’ve known for over two years and always have fun with in a social setting, and you think it would be a great idea to let this friend move into your condo. She moves all her stuff in, rearranges everything and decorates without consulting you, throws out your microwave “because it takes up too much counter space” and makes you uncomfortable in your own home, forcing you to find solace elsewhere and ultimately ruining the friendship. And the worst part is, she doesn’t even look good in the morning and has no problem doing you favors by switching your laundry and shrinking your clothes in the dryer.
Yes, roommate relationships like this really exist.
In an ideal world, everybody would be able to afford their own place, and the need to take others feelings and opinions when decorating could be thrown out the window: But this is Michigan, so that’s not the case. So, when it comes to finding the perfect roommate, research is key. Books such as “The Naked Roommate” are a good read and offer up advice like “Respect each other and listen,” “Keep an open mind,” “Establish house rules” and “Compromise and be flexible.” And while these are great pieces of advice, they’re geared to roommates you already have, not finding a new one.
When it comes to finding a new roommate, you should treat your hunt for the perfect one just as you would the hunt for a romantic partner. Yes, it sounds odd, but it’s true: When finding a partner, you want to make sure they are financially responsible, can take care of his or herself in a time of need, respect your privacy, know how to pick up the place before guests come over and won’t embarrass you in front of your friends or family; also, knowing how to cook is a great bonus. And, just like dating, don’t be afraid to play the field and test out a few potential roommates before moving forward.
Once you have selected the best roommate possible, there is one last thing you need to do before signing your lives to each other for the next six, nine or 12 months: You need to have an open and honest conversation about personal finances, what each of you can bring to the table and settle any beef that could cause future problems. This conversation, while covering what may seem taboo, is the best possible prophylactic to any unforeseen complication that could ruin a friendship.
Happy hunting.
