About every college student has had, or is having, some issue with roommates. Whether the roommates don’t clean up after themselves, or are too loud or too rowdy, we’ve all been there.
Here’s some advice on what to do in these situations, showing you how to handle them in a respectful, tactful manner.
Scenario #1: It’s 12 a.m. and you’re closed up in your apartment studying for your big history midterm in the morning. You have been procrastinating, so you’ve decided to cram at the last minute.
For the fifth night in a row, you hear your roommate outside the door laughing and being way too loud with her boyfriend. The television is just loud enough for you to hear it clearly from your room, but it is still a major distraction. You hear glass breaking, and it sounds like they are getting a bit out of control.
Your roommate’s boyfriend has been living here since you moved in. Just about every morning, you wake up to the sound of his annoyingly loud voice shouting “Hey babe, how do you want your eggs cooked?”
Why do you have to walk out and see him in your kitchen cooking breakfast every morning in his pajamas? He’s extremely rude, inconsiderate and is constantly making rude and sarcastic remarks when you turn your back.
You really don’t want to have to go out there and confront them, but you have a major headache and have to study. And frankly, you’re fed up with your roommate and her boyfriend. What do you do?
Suggestion: Confront the situation head-on. If you continue to let it go and not speak up, your roommate will think he or she can continue with this behavior and you will be fine with it. Politely ask them to calm down the noise because you are studying and about to head to bed.
Respectful roommates who are considerate probably will go ahead and quiet down.
In most apartments, it is against the rules to have someone living with you whose name is not on the lease. No one but yourself and roommate should even be cooking in the kitchen.
So why should you have to put up with your roommates boyfriend, when he really isn’t supposed to be there in the first place?
But as always, address the situation with respect – no matter how annoyed and angry you might be. It is also not a good idea to confront the boyfriend in this situation—confront your roommate.
If it is a boyfriend/girlfriend or friend of your roommate causing these kinds of problems, it is always best to speak with your roommate, not them. Be honest and be calm.
Scenario #2: It’s Friday night and you’ve just gotten back to your place after an amazing date with your new girlfriend. She’s never seen your room and asks if she can come and watch the “Family Guy” marathon that’s been on all night. You’re sure you can sneak a smooch in there somewhere, so you tell her to come on up.
You open the door and can’t believe what you see. Right at the entrance, you notice a pile of dirty laundry and two bags of leaking trash. The room reeks of rotting cheese and musty gym clothes, and you see your roommate has left pizza boxes stacked in the corner that have been there for at least a week, along with plastic plates with food crusted on them.
“Hey what’s up man? We having some company tonight I see?” your roommate says, coming out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel on as he eyes your girlfriend and gives her a wink.
As tempted as you are to violently knock your roommate down into his own pile of stinking laundry, what should you do?
Suggestion: You have every right to be extremely irritated in this situation, but have some control. Letting your anger and embarrassment get the best of you and inflict violence upon the roommate wouldn’t be good for anyone.
Either pull the roommate aside right then and there and ask him to please straighten up the place; you do have a guest over and want her to feel comfortable. Or you can take your girlfriend somewhere else or call it a night, and have a little meeting with your roommate the next day.
Try your best not to get angry and accusatory toward your roommate during the meeting. Say your part, why you called a meeting and why certain things are bothering you. Be respectful in letting him speak as well. Usually this type of problem can be resolved with pure communication between the two of you.
Scenario #3: Just when you thought you were all set to graduate, you find out you have one more class to complete. You opt for staying in the dorms.
Two weeks pass by, and you’ve been noticing there is a pretty foul odor coming from your roommate’s side of the room. Every time she walks past you or comes out to greet your friends, you get a whiff of something that smells like body odor. You also notice your roommate never seems to acquaint herself with the shower you share.
You have tried dropping hints: “Want to try out this new body wash I just bought? It smells great!” and “Can you check to see if the hot water is working in the shower?” or just being bold and saying “Have you showered today? Showers are very healthy for you.”
The roommate doesn’t seem to catch on, and it’s just too hot to live so closely with someone who isn’t smelling too fresh, especially since the window in your room won’t open. What do you do?
Suggestion: This is a pretty tough situation to be in, and should be handled carefully because someone’s feelings are involved. Here’s what not to do – Certainly don’t tell the roommate flat-out she smells awful and needs to get in the shower because her scent is making you nauseous. And who knows? It could even be a medical problem.
So as much as it bothers you, be considerate of someone’s feelings. It is all in the way you talk to people; you don’t want to come off as condescending.
Final Remarks: The best thing to do when getting ready to move into a new place where you’re going to have roommates is to know with whom you are moving in.
Before you move in, find out where your friends are staying and if they would like to be roommates with you. This way you will at least know what to expect and if your personalities and lifestyles can go together instead of moving in with a random person you’ve never met.
Just because a person is your friend, doesn’t necessarily mean you would make good roommates. You could be a quiet and reserved person who is very into studying and keeping your GPA up. On the other hand, your best friend is wild, loud and loves to party whether he or she has class in the morning. You love your best friend, but these personalities might not mix well in a living situation.
You be the judge and make the decision that is best for you.
