You probably don’t know me, but I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Jerome; I’m a junior here at Eastern Michigan University studying psychology with a focus on human sexuality. I run a sexual health and culture blog unimaginatively named Let’s Talk About Sex at www.ltasex.info.
Every weekday for the past two years I’ve been helping people explore and learn about their sexuality in all of its many facets. The blog has gotten pretty popular as a resource for the most unique and unbiased sexual health information and advice as well as thought provoking interviews and editorials.
People have called me the next Dan Savage, but while I appreciate the comparison, I would like to make it clear that I am not trying to be the next anything. I am simply trying to make the world a sexier place. I’m trying to rehabilitate our relationship with sexuality into one that is healthy, happy and mutually beneficial. The way we do things now simply doesn’t work.
My friends like to joke that Let’s Talk About Sex is the sex education class for people who actually like sex. I like to say I’m trying to redefine sexual education one orgasm at a time. Whatever the case I’m now bringing all of that to the pages of The Eastern Echo in this new weekly column, which is also unimaginatively named Let’s Talk About Sex.
Eagle eyed Echo readers will notice that this is actually the second article in this column.
In the final issue of the Echo for spring, I wrote an article with tips on how to prepare for the coming term. Since that was a test run for the column, I feel safe in welcoming you to the first official edition Let’s Talk About Sex.
Every week we will be discussing topics surrounding sexuality that matter to you. Your input will directly influence what we talk about. This week I’m answering a question sent in by a reader of the blog but it won’t always be like that. Sometimes, we will handle issues that happen on campus or in the news. Sometimes, we might even review a sex toy or two. It’s all
up to you.
Let your voice be heard, email me at jerome@ltasex.info anytime. You can also submit a question using our Facebook fan page or on Twitter @ltasex. I can’t wait to hear from you.
Until then, welcome to the sexy. You’ll have a lot of fun here.
Now, let’s answer this young lady’s question.
I have this girlfriend that I’ve been seeing for like four years. We’re starting college in a couple weeks at different universities. I’m not worried about cheating or anything like that but I think it’s still a good idea to break up. What do you think?
~Ashley
You’re asking me because you want to break up with her. What you’re looking for is someone to tell you that it’s ok — I’m telling you that it’s ok.
If you dated her through four years of high school, it’s likely that you were only together out of necessity. It’s very likely that you two were the only openly gay kids in school and connected because of that. I’m not saying you didn’t grow to love and care for each other, but it probably started by you fulfilling each other’s need for companionship. That speaks volumes about the fate of your relationship.
Now that high school is over and you’re heading to one of the most GLBT-friendly colleges in the nation, you no longer need her companionship and she doesn’t need yours. If you don’t end it now, it’s nearly inevitable that the separation will force a less than amicable end to the relationship.
From the wording of your e-mail I can tell that you’re a bit disenchanted with the relationship. I would suspect that four years of doing the same thing with the same person would get rather boring. There is no reason you have to accept that sort of mundane complacency.
Sometimes relationships reach a natural end. When that happens it’s our responsibility to grow some ovaries and do what’s necessary.
I would suggest that you go and talk to your girlfriend. Let her know where you’re at and what you’ve decided. She won’t be happy, but it’s likely that she has been looking for a way to tell you the same thing. The worst thing that could happen is that you two break up and from your perspective that’s not really a bad thing.
Have fun at the all-you-can-eat buffet we like to call college. (See what I did there?)
Keep it sexy.
If you have a question or want to submit a topic for discussion send it to Jerome@ltasex.info, twitter.com/ltasex or facebook.com/ltasexinfo.
