On September 4th, 2024, the Women’s Resource Center, Campus Life, and Planned Parenthood Generation Action put on their third annual "Sex in the Dark" event in the Student Center ballroom. The night encouraged college students to learn about sex and healthy relationships from licensed therapists, sex educators, and other professionals.
College is a time of exploration and new experiences for many students. For some, this may mean discovering their sexuality and engaging in different sexual relationships. Because of this, Sex in the Dark was brought to Eastern Michigan students to educate on multiple aspects of safer sex in a fun and anonymous setting.
When students arrived at the event, they were greeted by canvas pouches and masquerade masks ready to be decorated. The decorative masks were a new addition this year, adding to the anonymity for curious attendees.
Upon entering the ballroom, students were soon washed in darkness. Purple and pink lights lit up a few key spots in the room; the panelist’s stage, limited spots on the walls, and the vendors' booths. The way to their tables was slightly illuminated by the small, flickering, electronic candles and glow sticks sitting amidst the table’s decorations.
The overhead lights came on periodically, allowing students to get refreshments and speak to vendors. Among the vendors was Reset Brain and Body, Planned Parenthood of Michigan, and Janet’s Dungeon, a sex shop in Wyandotte. The booths had free stickers, informational pamphlets, and students could even purchase a variety of sex toys and clothing from Janet’s.
As the night began and the panelists filed out onto the stage, attendees began submitting anonymous questions via the QR code present at their tables. Throughout the night, each of the seven panelists took time to answer questions from a wide range of topics. They discussed how to deal with hypersexuality, how to prepare yourself to have sex, and everything in between.
The WRC wanted to give students a safe and comfortable space to learn about not just sexual health, but emotional, physical, and mental wellbeing. Kimberly Ferrell, the new WRC coordinator and a professor in teacher education at EMU, was the host of Sex in the Dark, and worked to center this idea throughout the event.
“A large part of having good overall health, both mentally and sexually, is about … knowing one’s self worth, knowing who you are, what you want and how to effectively communicate this,” Ferrell said. “It's also important for students to know their own self capacity for sex, intimacy and relationships.”
Ferrell believes that sex education events are extremely important for college students, as it helps them protect their own health. Making sure students are knowledgeable about consent, safe communication styles, and healthy relationships, will greatly benefit them going forward, through their college journey and beyond.
“We care about the whole student, and their life experiences do matter, and we are here to help guide them to better life outcomes, academic and social success at EMU,” Ferrell said.
Anne Solari, a panelist and licensed sex therapist, hopes that students came away from this event with a better understanding of themselves as sexual beings. Once a nervous young adult themselves, they’ve experienced the pressures that college can place on people in terms of sexual experiences. Now, they want students to be comfortable, no matter their starting points.
“The pressure to have sex, the pressure to conform to expectations is huge at that age. I remember dealing with a lot of that myself, and making poor choices at times because of feeling like that’s what I had to do to fit in,” Solari said. “We need to take away the shame of having sex, and we need to take away the shame of not having sex. We need to normalize the conversation and be less weird about it.”
This was the aim of Sex in the Dark; to normalize sexual conversations, and allow sexual questions to be answered by real life experts in real time.
Like how much of the conversations were about boundaries and safe communication, Sex in the Dark implemented their own safety measures throughout the night. Attendants were asked to sign a Community Agreement and Accountability Form before entering the event. The form told students of the shared responsibilities that all attendees had to create a safe, caring, and respectful environment. This included not speaking over panelists or laughing at the questions or answers present, being open to hearing about new experiences or ideas, and taking responsibility for your actions.
The goal of this form, according to Ferrell, was to foster the safe and welcoming environment she had hoped to bring during the event.
“Having a community agreement and accountability form … was very critical to creating a compassionate, respectful and caring environment, [and] holds individuals responsible and accountable for their words, actions and ethical behaviors. That is very important in the overall scope of our campus community,” Ferrell said.
Additionally, Officer Pat McGill was present and spoke during the event, encouraging students to take advantage of the safety resources on campus. These resources include self defense classes, the SEEUS hotline, and themselves, being a resource for students to report abuse and mistreatment.
Ferrell and Solari both hoped that students walked away from Sex in the Dark having more knowledge on safe sex, healthy relationships, and mutual understanding. They both hope that students will continue these conversations, and seek out help from experts when needed.
“If people have questions, reach out to the experts. Whether it be the experts at Planned Parenthood, whether it be sex therapists … Reach out to those experts,” Solari said.
For more information on different mental, physical, and sexual resources on campus, please go to the WRC and LGBT Resource Center’s websites.
