Why do so many women spend so long trying to look attractive? Don’t they know they’re just wasting their time?
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that women don’t look good when they dress up. It’s just that a lot of women get noticed more when they don’t, like my friend Carrie, who recently asked me why guys always seem to notice her when she’s wearing pajama pants and fuzzy slippers, but not when she tries to look hot.
It’s funny, because I had just come to the realization that most of the women I’m drawn to around campus are wearing sweats or pajama pants. Why is that?
Well, I think the first part of it is that guys recognize that they never know what they’re getting when a woman is dressed up. I was on a friend’s Facebook page the other day and there was a really attractive woman in her profile picture. Obviously, she was dressed up in the picture. The next day, I saw her in one of my classes wearing jeans, a T-shirt and no make-up.
At first, I didn’t recognize her, because she looked so different. While she was still kind of cute, the difference between her dressed up and her dressed down was like night and day. If you’re attracted to a woman when she’s dressed down, you’ll always be attracted to her. The opposite isn’t necessarily true.
But there’s a psychological reason, too. Most people are tactile, meaning that they associate things with touch — like a fuzzy blanket, a soft teddy bear, a warm hoodie, etc. We draw positive associations from past experiences with positive physical sensations and negative ones from negative.
I don’t know about you, but when I see fleece or flannel pajama bottoms, a really soft, stretchy blouse or a pair of sweats, I want to hug the person wearing them. People associate comfortable clothing with, wait for it, comfort. I know, shocking. That’s why people are subconsciously attracted to people who are dressed comfortably.
Of course, we can’t overlook the obvious. When you try really hard to look nice, you’re doing what? Trying really hard. When you wake up, toss your hair in a ponytail, toss on a pair of sweats and head out the door, you’re not. Your subconscious has no expectations of being noticed, and you’re not remotely interested in being noticed. As a result, you smile more naturally and walk more comfortably, which gets you noticed.
I don’t care whether you’re Megan Fox or Mary Jane McAverage, that makes a difference. Unless you’ve got the rare gift of looking completely at ease when you dress up, you will be more attractive the more you dress down, because you’re more attractive the more relaxed you are.
I know I don’t constitute the consensus attitude of every male in the world, but you’ll find that most guys will agree with me on this one. I’d rather be with a woman I find attractive at her worst, knowing that it can only get better, than someone who I’m only attracted to when she spends hours dolling herself up.
So, I ask again, why do so many women spend so long trying to look attractive?
Why do you?
Just something to think about…