In today’s world there are many factors about being a woman that’s both empowering and overwhelming. As women, we acknowledge our beauty and flaws, but there lies an obsession with the idea of meeting others’ standards of beauty. It’s so common to dissect and judge your appearance through the eyes of others.
Is there a point of being too concerned about the way we’re portrayed? Is beauty only skin deep or a mask of our true self?
Heather Neff, EMU English Literature professor, compassionately connected to others during TEDxEMU about the impact of physical appearance that’s instilled in women and girls.
She informed and encouraged them to examine the source of their self-esteem while discovering their life’s purpose, centered around being goal-oriented.
“I chose to talk about the way this society teaches women that their only value is what their faces look like. And I want women to get free from that idea that your worth is tied up in your face,” Neff said. “Women have to break free of that idea that they always have to look good to please someone else. Find the strength from within to go out and figure out who they really are.”
Just as she hoped, her message sparked the exchange of personal stories and ideas among the audience.
Two women from different generations who met at the event began to engage on the standards of beauty that they live by. They both reached out to Neff to show their gratitude of taking a stand and informing women in a positive way.
“The older lady said ‘You really gave me something to think about. I might just let my hair go gray, cause I’m tired of trying to look good for men.’ So I got to talk to two people, two generations who were giving thought about ‘How do we look when a man sees us?’” Neff said.
She is a believer in her philosophy that life is long enough to do many things, but too short to waste even a day. A self-proclaimed busy body, she has an array of interests from writing, playing piano and viola, to artsy projects that allows her to simply create, such as gardening, sewing and painting.
She’s always inclined to be active in any way possible, even through her daily interactions with students on campus. One serious matter to her is making today count in any meaningful way possible, even giving a helping hand to others.
“Getting up isn’t hard for me. Sometimes it’s hard to get things done. That’s the problem at my house – there’s a pile of books everywhere,” she said.
“I walk in the door, and watercolors are there, piles of papers are here. Just unfinished projects. I’m always just living.”
She thrives in the sense of all she has accomplished and all factors that make her unique. One special quirk of hers is speaking and singing to herself in French.
Her lust for experiencing what the world has to offer and her perspective of that world was passed down from her mother, who’s very busy-bodied and adventurous, even for her.
“My mother is 84-years-old, and she’s planning to go to England next fall. She has been to Australia and all the continents except Asia,” she said.
“I can’t slow her down. She always tries to go to a foreign country on her birthday. For her 84th she went to Argentina. The year before, Hawaii. She even went to Kenya on a safari.”
Neff has also traveled and lived in different countries, such as Europe and the Caribbean Islands. She soon plans on joining her mother’s worldwide adventures to experience more countries, particularly Asia.
Neff is the prime example of beauty with brains and heart. She lives exactly by the words that she shares with others yet freely on her own terms. Her self-worth is evident and draws you in to her just from an encounter, which is itself gratifying. There’s no way not to walk away from her without altering the way you view and approach life with ambition.
Beauty is simply the cherry on top of the intelligence, confidence and self-worth of an individual.
“You are worth so much more than the way you look. It doesn’t matter how you look. What matters is your character, your strength. The fact that you have a purpose, a goal orientation and you plan to do meaningful things with your life.”
