Many of you know President Obama spoke at Notre Dame over the summer.
You probably also know his invitation to speak there sparked quite a bit of controversy because of President Obama’s views on abortion.
Without taking sides on a hairy subject, I was impressed with his ideas.
Philosophically speaking, of course.
He acknowledged the two sides were essentially irreconcilable, but called upon each side to respect the other’s right to its opinion. He also acknowledged how “heart-wrenching” a decision it is for any woman to make.
Hold on a second, Mr. President!
I don’t necessarily disagree with anything the president said, but I think he’s missing half of the equation here. Boy Girl = Baby. Where the heck is the guy in all of this? Why do we, almost instinctively, ignore the man when we talk about abortion?
Okay, I understand when it comes to unplanned pregnancies, guys often punk out and say it’s not their responsibility, but that’s a cop-out. And a crummy one at that.
Rather than fashion our justifications around irresponsible children, why not hold them accountable for their decisions and demand they do the right thing?
You see this all the time in many aspects of relationships. Each person in the relationship decides to take care of No. 1 and then tries to fit their choices into the paradigm of their relationship.
That’s kind of a backward way of doing things, if you ask me. And quite irresponsible to boot.
When you make the decision to do anything that involves someone else, you assume a responsibility towards them. You owe them the courtesy of honesty, communication and consideration.
But the most important thing you owe them is the courtesy of participation.
Now, I’m not just talking about abortion anymore. Any time you get involved with someone, you assume a responsibility. Whether you are knockin’ boots with the hottie you met at the bar, or getting involved in a serious, long-term relationship, there are two people involved in your decisions. There are two hearts in the equation. There are two people who will bear the burden of whatever comes out of that relationship for the rest of their lives.
Wow, that sounded heavy!
The fact of the matter is though, that it is heavy. There’s nothing casual about casual sex and the human heart can be a very delicate thing. You don’t know what condition someone else’s heart is in when you choose to get involved with them. If you’re not careful, you could cause someone irreparable damage through your selfishness.
Okay, this is kind of sounding like a lecture now, and I don’t want it to. My main point is it takes two to tango, so don’t walk off the dance floor in the middle of the dance. The best way to deal with an unexpected situation is head-on as a team, not as a solo act.
Call me crazy, but I think a man and a woman should make every decision when it comes to things that affect them both; whether it’s about pregnancy, their relationship, or where they’re going to have dinner that night.
Anything less, from either side, is just a cop-out.